Imagination

If you were the one
i would rule the neighbourhood
coz your words are more lethal than gun
if you were the one
all my investment in snickers
your dowry would have returned
if you were the one
my features woudnt go to my children
coz you still have had BS' son
if you were the one
my daughter would keep rubbing her nose
though her nose would never run
if you were the one
I would have had one less sister
and ex-girlfriends almost none
if you were the one
we would never need a car
you driving me on your bike is total fun
if you were the one
all our chairs would be wheeled
so you never need to manually run
if you were the one
buying you gifts would have been easy
blue jeans, pink top and it's done
if you were the one

but we are still such close friends
probably coz i never tried to be the one

:)

Re: Clarification

Happy Independence Day!

Yes, Happy Independence day! not Happy Independence Day in Advance! and I am not mistaken on the date.

It is the Independence Day of Pakistan today. We, Indians, never even consider this day for a minute. Actually, for most of us, it does not really exist. Our day is tomorrow, 15th August, a national holiday.

But this time, I was fortunate to get a flavour of the Pakistani Independence Day too! the feeling is different... but not really different.

I also did not have it in my mind till I boarded the office cab this morning where our Pakistani driver was dressed better than usual and the radio was playing Pakistani patriotic songs. I wished him and he was quite happy to respond. Maybe the driver later felt awkward playing those songs in front of me so he tried to change the channel, but the song, the lyrics and the tune was so good that i asked him to put it back.

The flavour of the song was just as it would be in India and it brought the same sensation in me as an Indian Lata Mangeshkar song would do.

The lyrics were something like:

Main bhi Pakistan Hoon.... Tu bhi Pakistan hai...
something like... Dil mera Punjab hai.. aur sartaj Baluchistan hai...

I started humming it along and it was no longer a Pakistani song for me. It was just a patriotic song I was singing for my country... doesn’t really matter what the name of my country is.

and then, the radio jockey, a north-Indian girl, was screaming with joy and wishing all Pakistanis a Happy Independence Day! and she was talking to Pakistani housewives and children who all told their plans for the day and guess what- each one of them wished Indians a happy independence day in advance!

It was like.. my celebration of one day extended to two days and come to think of it.... afterall it is about one event in history so it can definitely be celebrated together. For some, it is about separation, about sadness, and about hatred. But for me, it is about celebration, about freedom, about experiencing more than I already know.

Tomorrow, I will celebrate the Indian Independence day. But how is it going to be any different from what I am doing today? afterall, it is the same thing we are celebrating.. freedom! I just don’t understand that miles away from our countries, we can stay here in unison and enjoy together, but once back there, we just close our eyes and hearts towards each other.

One of my friends was quite surprised that we have a Pakistani driver. She was keen to ask how he behaves with us. Ofcourse all of us would ask the same question because everything related to Pakistan comes to us only through media. And media believes in extremes, daily stuff bores them and does not qualify for 'breaking news'. But tell you frankly, he behaves with us just the way an employee should behave with an employer. Rather, on a personal side, he is much more fun, helpful, responsible, and trustworthy than many of my Indian subordinates. I have never felt anything unusual about sitting with him in the same car.

So, atleast I am trying to shed my inhibitions and make it into a two-day celebration. What about you?

Quotable Quotes

QUITE OLD ONES, ALL ORIGINALS WRITTEN BY YOURS TRULY

A candle lights the other, but its light does not grow less

Some say to do, I do to say

The footsteps of a man resemble his height

Lost hope is lost breath

You first came to me, touched me, maintained a distance, then came close but went away and shut me! Seems as if I was a door and you just passed through.

It's better to be a human with a being than just being a human

Today, what I will show to others I know in myself, what I know in myself I don't know.

When you push the ground back, it pushes you ahead. Is that why girlfriends dump boys?


And this one is for you Saru:

A friend is the one who occurs after 'Either' and 'Or'

Young Ashish's Talisman

WRITTEN ON JANUARY 31 1999. IMAGINE THIS WRITTEN BY A 16 YEAR OLD :P

A STEEP FLOW

Hear the sound, when silent around.

Have a talk on't internet but interbody.

Use the intercom for mind and heart when think you'r hurt deep in your heart. Don't involve any other when heart is your real brother. Have faith in which he'll never ditch. Life is quite jerky, smooth and bulky. It is'nt a rose, has hell number of crows but don't cry for every, every single crow. Don't take it light, make your senses tight to constantly fight. You are disturbed when, and feel mentally hurt then, take help of salvation more than agitation. Make your soul strong and think what was wrong, and what can be right which can make you bright. Choose that only way leading to help the needy, say. Concentrate quite and calm and never use a balm. Link the wrong with yourself, yourself. And get thro' out to settlement yourself. A STEEP FLOW from confusion to reality can prove an achievement for you, mankind and humanity.

In Remembrance of Our Beloved Daadi Maa

Late Smt. Sarbati Devi
1920-2008

Transformation!

I won’t be surprised if I have had the weirdest career path in the world!

• I studied Non-Medical Science till class 12
• Then I opted for B.A. Hons. (English)
• Then my first job was apprentice in a glass factory
• Then I became an editor in a publishing house where I made books on all malicious subjects
• Then I became a business writer / editor for a trade portal
• Then I did my masters in Mass Communication (Media & Advertising)
• Then I became a Knowledge Management Executive doing mostly content management work
• Then I became a hardcore Knowledge management pro
• And currently I am going towards becoming a techie – I am turning into a MS Sharepoint specialist and doing Acceptance Testing on portals!

This is how my literature transformed all these years:

Atomic Number of Elements -> Wordsworth and Coleridge -> Glass production statistics -> 100 ways of Kissing -> Product Catalog for an export firm -> Theory of Interpersonal communication -> Process document for sending mailers -> Knowledge maps -> User Acceptance Test Cases & Functional Requirement Specifications

And now I want to do an MBA so maybe next would be RFIs and RFPs!!!

What a trajectory!

Realization

One of my friends made me realize that I am wasting my talent! I have been writing original messages and sending to friends for last 4 years now! There are a few people who have been my audience all this while. And the bad part is: I dont have any of them now. Maybe a few of them are still making rounds as forwards but there is no way I can get them back.

So.. now I have decided that I will write all such things on my blog!

Watch this space for some interesting stuff!

Are You Expecting?

Don't get me wrong, it's about expecting from people and not expecting people :) . This discussion explores if we should keep expectations from our friends, loved ones, family etc. or not.

What started as my friend's advice to me, became a discussion and finally a blog. So, here it goes -

My friend wrote:

..life is best when we don’t expect anything.. the more we expect.. the more depressed we get.. We should be entirely self reliant..n help others when they need help. Maybe the person u want help from wont be there.. but for every friend lost, a better friend is made.. for such is life...

I wrote:

I know.. we should not expect.. that is the root cause of all misery, but I still don’t agree that we should not expect.. if we do not expect anything from anybody.. no friends, no family.. nobody… then we are just by ourselves, leading a solitary life. Isn’t this a form of existentialism where you don’t have anything to fall back upon?

Selflessness is good.. but is not applicable everywhere. These days, how many people do we have in the name of family? Our parents and a sibling? Parents are generally of a different era and sibling is generally indifferent. And after marriage, in most cases only the partner. If we are not allowed to expect anything from them also, then what is it that we call as "home"?

As I see it, "Live life as it comes" is same as "Live a meaningless Life". Even if you are doing charity, with no monetary or social intentions… but still you expect a smile from the needy and a blessing for you.. isn’t it?

I don’t know if I am making sense but this is something that has bothered me for long. I am fully convinced that we SHOULD expect. The question I don’t have an answer to is "how much to expect". How to decide when you are overdoing it? What separates expectation from over-expectation? Because expectation is also a relative term. What is expectation for me is possessiveness for somebody else. And what I see as my right is a breach of personal space for somebody else. That is the thing I fail to understand.

Also, it is a very difficult chemistry… I have seen this happening with myself. Some of my friends complain that I over-expect whereas others have not even felt it slightly. Some people, even if they never realize it, have this inherent quality to be at par with others’ expectations always. They simply do not leave any room for complaint. I am always sure that they will do something that they should be doing. I don’t have to tell them to do something.. it just happens as a rule. I have two such friends, probably that is why they are my closest buddies. On the other hand, there are others who could never do justice to my efforts.

My friend wrote:

All your point are VERY valid here..i really cannot contest it.. mostly cos yes, sumtimes I also become ‘possesive’ in my expectations – and sometimes I don’t like to expect at all

and this is not existentialism – it is nirvana – to live a life where you are content and happy and self-reliant. Read that essay by Ralph Waldo Emerson – read it once and it will answer these questions. Self reliance is not the same as an unhappy existence.. according to me existing comes when you expect better.. but when you cant get it

It is not easy – perhaps that's why sages reach such a stage after yrs of sacrifice, cutting away meditation etc..

--------------------------

This is it. Now I am reading that essay. But before that, can I expect your thoughts on this?

The Professionally Correct Attitude

We get two kinds of paths at every turn of life. One is the right path and other is the wrong one. And it is only for the courageous, virtuous and determined people to choose the right path. Those who choose the wrong path end up nowhere and eventually perish. This is what our grandparents, teachers, moral books and fairy tales tell us.

But as I see it and face it everyday in the course of life, the situation is absolutely different. Life does not offer us such easy choices. It is very easy to choose the right path among the two. It might be difficult to walk on it but at least it is easy to choose.

The real test of life is about choosing from two seemingly rights paths. This is what I, and probably many of us, face everyday. I encounter situations when all my alternatives weigh almost equally and then I am asked to choose one. Depending on the difference of situations, the criteria to choose also changes. Sometimes (rarely) we know the criteria and hence can find an answer. But most of the time, it is even more difficult to find the right way to choose the right path rather than choosing it. This is the problem I want to discuss here.

Since childhood, or at least since I remember, I have had an argumentative nature. If I am convinced about a particular point (not necessarily correct, but who can decide that anyway?), I can fight till my last breath to prove it. This doesn’t mean I have no respect for others’ point of views or criticism or feedback, I would be the first one to gracefully accept my fault and try to learn provided I have very convincing and fool-proof counterarguments. But then, that again is an easy choice because I have been proved wrong. It is easy to choose between black and white but life seems all grey to me. I would keep quoting examples and scenarios to prove my point. And most of the time the argument closes because of time constraint.

The problem that arises due to this confusion is that sometimes I almost cross the line between debate and adamancy. This happens when I have already had a non-convincing argument at length. After a while, if the opponent is not able to convince me, I am not sure if I close my mind towards his PoV. Every time it happens so that the discussion starts rotting and remains inconclusive.

In professional scenario, this behavior of mine has been taken negatively at few occasions. Mostly when, at a later stage, I am proved wrong. However, there have been more situations in which I am proved right.

Now, my confusion is: Till I am proved wrong, why should I leave my PoV? And if I stick to it then how do I judge that I am not being rigid? If I have not been proved wrong, then why should I accept an opinion which is not mine? The question here is beyond right and wrong because nothing has been proved wrong yet.

Let me quote two situations to substantiate my confusion:

Situation 1: I was in a conference where we had people from all over the world. We were made to play a game of cards. I was the junior-most in designation among the group. We were given a list of rules to read and then it was taken back. After every hand, people were shuffled between different groups. After the first game, there was confusion about the rules. Everybody was stating a different rule. However, as I remembered the rules of my table perfectly, I almost negated their points and stuck to my rules. After 3-4 hands, it was revealed that the game rules were different on every table, that’s why the confusion. I realized my mistake that actually everybody was correct, but I was so convinced about the rules that I simply ignored them.

Ques: I know I became rigid. I did not know that they were right, but I knew that I was absolutely correct. So, what wrong did I do if I trusted my memory completely? Can’t it be termed as self-confidence as against authority?

Situation 2: While discussing a new structure for an application that our team was developing, I proposed my plan for the same. I was in discussion with four other people (again, all of them senior to me). They all refused to accept it and started finding faults in it. They tried hard to convince me, but I offered equal number of rebuttals. Rather, I gave them real-time examples of possible problems in their plan. After a while, they all were against me and it was a 4:1 situation. Being junior to all of them, at most I pulled my idea back but did not accept there opinion. Two days later, our group manager proposed the same plan as mine and left no scope for arguments.

Ques: I earned a bad reputation for being extremely argumentative and rigid but when I knew that I was correct, why would I leave my decision and accept some other thought?

The outcomes of both the above situations were different but the corollary was same - I earned a bad name.

To all my professional guides, mentors, friends and philosophers, please tell me what the “Professionally Correct Attitude” is!

Meeting parting meeting parting….

Science & Tech is supposed to simplify our lives. Its main aim is to make our lives easier, happier & more comfortable and it’s anybody’s guess that the reality is absolutely opposite. We are more prone to tensions, diseases, discomforts and dangers than our previous generations. There sure are better people than me to talk about the ‘technical’ or ‘technological’ hazards we are facing today. What’s bothering me today is the psychological aspect of it. What mental effect does sci/tech have on us? Atleast one aspect of it is that our “social” circle has lost its boundaries.

Meeting and parting is the way of life…
In earlier times, we had to believe that once parted we wont meet again, which is sad, but which is so good too. We just needed to “live for the moment” and then forget everything. Do whatever you want without thinking about future. Your past would never reflect on you again and hence you are absolutely free! Every time you are free to start relationships afresh without any tensions of past goof-ups/ experiences. So, meeting & parting was such a great way of life!!

It’s a small world…
With the development of communication channels & all ‘izations’ happening, the probability of re-meeting people increased. Now we were just not sure if we are parting for ever. There grew a possibility of planned or unplanned meeting in future. So we started becoming cautious. If not all “well & good”, atleast we tried to end on a good note (so we prevent future embarrassments). But still, we could fairly believe that we would not meet atleast 90% of people we part with.

The ORKUT world…
Now has come the time of all misery and trouble. We are creating a web of ‘contacts’ in our life. Each and every person whom I left in history is coming back now. So much so that people I had met for a few months.. or weeks or just once(!!) are coming back and they talk as if we never lost touch. (and btw… many of them fan you too)

By friends I mean a bunch of few guys I relate with.. like to spend time with.. and can share my thought with. Do I need hundreds of “friends” for that? I really don’t think so. Another problem that has risen is that now I cannot part with people. Would that mean I’ll just keep adding “friends” all my life? And when I’ll die there would be almost a national mourning?

The problem is not as simple as it sounds. Now I have to watch my every word, every action and every thought because there is nothing like “buried in the past”. The mistakes I did when I was 8 can ruin me when I’ll be 80! And that means I have to please everybody now. For God’s sake… how can I please everybody at the same time? Previously it was so easy to just let go. But now this attitude can have lethal repercussions. Imagine.. I slapped a girl in kindergarten and my wife calls me misogynist for that!

No… I am not blabbering… this is not just a bizarre fad… today I “met” a guy with whom I explored my genitals in my early adolescence!! Imagine the level of my embarrassment! I mean we didn’t do anything as such... you know what I mean. I can’t say or think more about that. I’ll throw up.

SOS!! Please give me a permanent way to part with friends!